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January 20, 2008
iPhone Lost/Stolen? AT&T/Apple: Fuck You! 
A close friend just had her iPhone lost/stolen. It's hard to tell which: it was there one minute, gone the next... and no, she wasn't drunk. What we do know, is that within hours of it disappearing, calls were placed by the new possessor, and her voicemail was replaced with what sounded like two drunken men chanting Bollywood tunes.
Her experience has shown me how abysmal AT&T / Apple support can be in situations like this -- and why I'm leaving them the second my contract runs out.
When she went to AT&T, they basically said (I'll paraphrase here):
That sucks. I'm sorry. [voice turns evil] As you know, we offer no insurance policy for the iPhone ( though we do for every other phone ) - so your option will have to be a new iPhone at full price. Or you can get another PDA like a Blackberry.
Much like every other person I know who bought an iPhone, she regretted not getting a Blackberry and jumped at the chance... only to hear:
Even though you never got a discount from AT&T on your iPhone purchase, you are ineligible for the hardware discount because you already have the iPhone contract. You'll have to pay full price on the Blackberry too.
Her response: "Fuck that" - she paid the $175 termination fee and got a Blackberry from Verizon for $150 ( $325 total to switch, instead of $400 to stay ).
AT&T customer service was awful is in this situation: flat-out refusing to give her any sort of discount to stay, and waving over her head "You're only 2 months into a 2 year contract. Ha ha ha." They wouldn't give her a reason to stay, so she gleefully left.
However... the more compelling issue is how amazingly inefficient and uncaring the combined AT&T and Apple services are at processing a stolen account -- and that based on countless similar reports on the internet, this is pandemic. I attribute this to both companies, because they'll both shift users across customer service lines saying "Oh.. maybe the other company can handle that".
Since AT&T/Apple offer no insurance policy ( aka a vested interest) on the phone, they really don't care about any sort of recovery or loss prevention. Stolen phone? They'll freeze the account / cancel the SIM card. That's it. No one can make new calls on the account, so they feel satisfied. I don't.
This is why the dialog is really: "iPhone Lost/Stolen? AT&T/Apple: Fuck You!" and not "iPhone Lost/Stolen? AT&T/Apple: Tough Shit!"
The AT&T/Apple policy just means "We'll do loss prevention on the service, but not on the hardware. Toss in a new SIM card and activate, and we'll be happy to take new money." AT&T/Apple offer no ability to kill or track a stolen phone's ability to activate - even though they easily could. Unlike other cellphones, the iPhone activation is handled through Apple and involves transmitting the serial number. While the SIM card can be replaced, and the software/firmware reset, it is far beyond the scope of the average user/thief to alter the serial number or circumvent it in the activation process. With a TRIVIAL amount of work, Apple & ATT can alert owners that a stolen iPhone has been re-activated, and alert the police with information on the new registrant. That new registrant is likely either: 1) someone who has had their credit card stolen, 2) someone who purchased the stolen phone off eBay/craigslist and can point police in the right direction, 3) the thief themselves. The phone could even be permanently blocked from activation through iTunes - the technical requirements are all in place; the only thing missing is the corporation caring.
After talking to both AT&T, and Apple... and having this escalated up the support chain several times, I learned that the only chance for us to make sure a new possessor of this phone is traced, is to keep calling Apple and seeing if someone has re-activated the serial number... and then calling the Police to have them investigate and get a subpoena for records on the new person. Brilliant. The policework is now outsourced to the victim.
I think this is extremely important, because it shows that AT&T/Apple really only care about getting the monthly bills - they don't care if someone is activating a lost/stolen phone; they don't care about putting a marker/flag on a phone's serial number to alert the police that a potentially stolen item has been activated; and they don't care that their customer has been victimized.
What annoys me most, is knowing that in order to put any common-sense theft-control practices like this in place, it would take less than a single day of programming.
With all that said, I've constructed the following guide.
What to do when your iPhone is stolen:
1- Call your iPhone. Hope the new person wants to return it.
2- Check your AT&T account online for activity. Calls post within hours, text-messages post within days. You might be able to find someone they called.
3- Call AT&T to suspend your account.
4- Go to AT&T and cancel your account. Pay the severance fee, hope to find a way to reclaim it later.
5- Go to another cellphone store. Sign a 1yr contract. You'll pay less for the same phone + contract severance than if you stayed with AT&T.
6- Go to the local Police precinct. File a report.
7- Eagerly await the day that execs & the marketing department at Apple/AT&T/various-other-cell carriers die, go to hell, and face karma.
Posted by Jonathan at January 20, 2008 3:09 PM
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